And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
it's great music for shaving your balls
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
