My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
