Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
