We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
