this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
