Whod you bang
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
