I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
