you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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