i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
