man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
