Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
