She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
