So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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