Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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