hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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