well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
