you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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