I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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