just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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