she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
