You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
