i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
