This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
