dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
