Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
