Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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