So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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