I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
