I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
