Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
accomplished twins. life is a go
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
