Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
