You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
