I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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