its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
