nut hugger
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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