i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
