Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
