In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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