you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
