what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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