Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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