If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
