meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
