I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
