i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
