i just made my gag reflex go away.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
