omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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