i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
