Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
