I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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