So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
