In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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